Apology to My Friends

Dear friend,

I am sorry. I’m sorry for not being as good of a friend to you as you are to me. I’m trying my hardest, but I know that it usually isn’t enough. You are always there for me through everything I am going through, and yet I am barely able to be there for you.

I’m sorry for the negativity that I give to you. I try so hard to be positive about things, but when I’ve been extremely nauseous for a week straight, the inside of my mouth has been bitten raw, the tic in my eyes is going to keep me from driving for the near future, and my brain is freaking out it is really hard to be positive. I don’t want to drag you down into the mess of my life, you deserve all of the happiness in the world.

I’m sorry for all of the times I wasn’t paying attention when you were talking to me, which happens a lot. It’s not anything to do with you or what you’re saying, I really do want to hear what you have to say. I just can’t always pay attention because what’s going on in my head is so loud. You always listen to what I have to say, and I’m so sorry for all the times I didn’t listen and made you feel like I didn’t care or what you were saying wasn’t important.

I’m sorry for all the times I have forgotten about what’s going on in your life. I truly care about you and want to help with whatever you’re going through. However, I get so caught up in my own issues that I completely forget to ask how you’re doing. Please don’t wait for me to ask about something because I probably won’t, just tell me about it. I want to be there for you as much as I can.

I’m sorry for all of the times I have backed out of something you have invited me to. I know it must’ve been frustrating and hurtful for you, especially if I backed out last minute, and I totally understand. It’s my fault, and I take full responsibility. I want to go and spend time with you and make memories, but sometimes my anxiety is just too much. Thank you for still inviting me to things even when I haven’t been reliable in the past.

I’m sorry for being so emotionally distant. I know that I’m not really willing to give a hug or be a shoulder to cry on, which hurts my ability to support you emotionally. I will listen and empathize with you, just with some personal space in between us. I may not always seem all that invested in the friendship as you are, and I’m sorry for that. I know I am not holding up my end in emotional support.

Thank you for being my friend through everything. You are such a great person, and I am the luckiest person in the world to have you as a friend. You have such a bright future, and I will do my best to be there for you every step of the way.

Sincerely,

Ashley